Nacho Average Padres

Bathroom Etiquette and Summer Sports Dadventures

• Ryan McDonald • Episode 37

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Is it ever appropriate to say "God bless you" when someone sneezes in a bathroom stall? Join us for another hilarious episode of Nacho Average Padres, where Ryan and Robb kick things off with this eyebrow-raising query. We dive into the world of awkward restroom etiquette and champagne-induced hangovers, reminiscing about how they seem to hit harder now that we're older. The laughs don't stop as we recount personal anecdotes, contrasting the severity of champagne hangovers then and now, before plunging headfirst into a light-hearted debate about bathroom manners and privacy.

As parents to young athletes, summer is anything but a break. We discuss the chaos that is managing multiple kids in different sports, the challenges of overlapping schedules, and the unique struggles of coaching roles within the family. With stories about summer camps, weekend activities, and the financial strain of extracurriculars, we paint a vivid picture of the hectic yet rewarding summer schedules. We also touch on the importance of maintaining personal, non-negotiable routines like work, gym time, and setting boundaries, even in the busiest times.

Nostalgia takes center stage as we reminisce about the band Hanson and their surprising longevity in the music industry. From their iconic hit "MMMBop" to their current status, we marvel at their transformation over the years. The conversation then shifts to generational shifts in slang and cultural trends, the influence of social media on kids, and the marketing tactics aimed at younger generations. Wrapping it all up, we reflect on the absurdity of addictive content for children and share our gratitude for the continuous support from our listeners. This episode is packed with humor, nostalgia, and relatable millennial dad moments you won't want to miss!

Please check us out on Twitter as we're very active there: https://twitter.com/NachoPadres

We also have an Instagram (although Ryan barely posts): https://www.instagram.com/nachoaveragepadres/

Or write an email to the pod at nachoaveragepadres@gmail.com.

Like what you heard? Listen to our other great episodes! The Dad jokes will certainly make you cringe!

Ryan:

whoa, resisting intro. Oh, wow, it is okay. Okay, you've stumbled onto the nacho average padres podcast, a show about millennial dads for millennial dads and friends, of course. Pull up a chair and join us. It's going to be an interesting one. While you're here, you can reach us on Twitter at Nacho Padres Pod. We're on Instagram at Nacho Average Padres, or you can email us at NachoAveragePadres at gmailcom. Hey, if you appreciate the show, leave us a review. It's definitely going to help us out. Hey, are we ready to go? I think we're good. All right, enjoy the show. Hey there, fellow Padres and friends, welcome back to the Nacho Average Padres podcast, where we talk about everything related to the millennial dad, as it should be. I'm your host, ryan, and on this episode, join me, as always, is my fantastic friend, rob. How is it going, man?

Robb:

It's going pretty good, brother, I know, got no complaints. Like you know, can I complain Sure, but champagne problems.

Ryan:

Champagne problems.

Robb:

Champagne problems. It's all lovely.

Ryan:

And bubbly.

Robb:

Indeed.

Ryan:

I got to say I don't have champagne often, but if I do I get a raging headache right afterwards.

Robb:

I mean, I think that's what it's meant to do.

Ryan:

Is it supposed to be Like, ooh I had a great time.

Robb:

And then you wake up and you're like, oh, was it a good time I feel awful yes, that's my thing.

Ryan:

I feel completely, completely awful afterwards, yeah.

Robb:

If I do champagne, I do like you know how they give a team those flutes. I'll have like half a flute and I'm like, I'm good, this tastes like.

Ryan:

I'm going to hate myself later. Oh man, Imagine champagne hangovers compared to our actual hangovers when we were much, much younger.

Robb:

Oh yeah, there's no real comparison, because there's the like oh man, I shouldn't have drank that champagne, wake up. And then there's the oh crap, I feel oh, yeah, and I don't really know what happened. Hangover yeah, that's a bad hangover yes it's like I feel like trash. I know I drank, but I don't remember what happened Not immediately at least no.

Ryan:

And then the champagne hangover is like I'm going to punch you in the face.

Robb:

Like I remember exactly what happened.

Ryan:

And I hate that we had to celebrate again. Fuck your marriage. This is stupid. I'm not celebrating shit next time. Screw you guys.

Robb:

I love you, but the champagne sucks. Next time, give me some Sprite.

Ryan:

Yeah, I'll celebrate that way.

Robb:

Shirley Temple, I'm going to have my beer and I'm going to celebrate that way. Oh man, yeah.

Ryan:

That's one thing that sucks. Getting older as millennials is drinking. We can't. Yeah, it ain't what it used to be. Two beers and I'm set, I'm good and I'm yeah, because you're feeling you're like I.

Robb:

I don't like the way this feels yeah this.

Ryan:

This does not feel fun no, and then you're probably out and you're a responsible adult and you know you have to get home and the only way for you to get home is or wake up and and then wake up early and be expected to be functional and normal, because kids don't care. No, not one bit. They're like you fucked up.

Robb:

That sounds like a you issue.

Ryan:

Yes, not a me issue Now.

Robb:

Give me my cereal Now make me some pancakes, like you promised you would yesterday.

Ryan:

Yeah, it's 645 in the morning. Hurry up pops.

Robb:

Yeah, it's like the sun's awake, so I'm awake.

Ryan:

I know that movie.

Robb:

That's how it works at this point. We should all know that, yeah we should the sky's awake, so I'm awake oh man, that's a great segue.

Ryan:

I wanted to uh well, a great start, not segue my bad um, because I did have, I did. I did take notes. Uh, since it's been a while since we've been together, there's one particular note I wrote down just as a conversation starter, an icebreaker to mosey us into things, one of the, just to, I guess, give you some background. I was walking in the hallway at my job and I was walking to the restroom, as one does when you need to, you know, use the facilities.

Robb:

Yes.

Ryan:

Sure, and I entered the restroom and someone sneezed and I thought to myself is it okay to say God bless you when someone sneezes in the bathroom, especially if you're in the next stall? Oh, so yeah.

Robb:

Like, what's the etiquette? Yeah, Like, do you not?

Ryan:

say God bless you? Or is that just too awkward, because you both are shitting next to each other?

Robb:

You're both clearly like taking a dump yeah. Right, you know, I don't know, I, I feel like that's I, I don't, I don't know if there's an etiquette like obviously you're standing in a stall, you do everything in your power to not stand next to that person right who's in the fellow stall, like I feel like that's an across the board etiquette.

Robb:

I feel like saying the. I feel like saying the bless you. I think that's more a personal thing. I know, if somebody said it to me, I don't know if I would, I don't think I would mind and then I would probably laugh. Yeah, I definitely say thanks. I don't know I might laugh. I don't know it's just because it's. But I mean, we know what we're doing there. You know what I'm saying. So it's not like it's not like it's weird.

Ryan:

Right and I have a followup question right after this one, because my followup question is kind of ties to this topic that we're on is are there cause? There's two types of men, I feel like, that are at the public restroom. There's the ones that are obnoxiously loud and just do not care about what noises they make, whether it's grunting, farting, anything like that.

Robb:

And then that guy's awkward, that guy's too much.

Ryan:

There's the guys like myself that I'm trying so hard to cover my fart.

Robb:

Like you're a ninja pooper. Yes, I know people know why I went in here. You don't need to know hard to cover my farts. Like you're, like you're, you're, you're a ninja pooper. Basically, yes, like I don't. I know people know why I went in here you don't need to know but we don't need to.

Robb:

You know, give, give pictures. Yeah, exactly no need for mental pictures. Yeah, you know which guy kind of annoys me is the guy that goes to like pee and they'll get me wrong because I get it but the guy that goes to the urinal and then he's like oh, yeah, yeah, I know you probably ran here you're holding it probably burst in.

Robb:

I get it, that's a little much, bro. Yes, keep your relief to yourself. I get it, but damn. But. But at the same time it's kind of like I mean shit, you know, the guy's probably buttoned up all fucking day. There's only one place we could really let loose. Yeah, fucking bad.

Ryan:

Yeah, I mean, let them rock.

Robb:

So, like it's, like I'm, I'm kind of I, I. I straddle the line on that one, but I'm at the same time I think it depends on you know what mood you catch me.

Ryan:

Okay.

Robb:

Whether I'll be like, but there was one time I will. I will say this Now you let me know if you've ever done.

Ryan:

Okay.

Robb:

But, I can't wait to hear this. So I was in the bathroom at my old corporate job and at this point I was already done. I was washing my hands and stuff and came in. I didn't see who it was, but it was somebody in my office. I don't know if they saw me or whatever.

Robb:

It was a very big office so like there's a lot of people that you may or may not know. Um, but I know somebody came into the bathroom, into the men's room, they went, they went into one of the stalls and man, whoever it was because I wasn't sure I mean the dude let it rip. Nice, like he let it rip, and and I don't mean like a fart, I mean like this was like he ate something bad, oh, and it sounded messy oh, it was one of those.

Robb:

But it was like, really like, like it, just like the way it sounded. It sounded awful and I couldn't help it. It was not on purpose. But when that first like big dropped, I literally went ew. And then I caught myself because I realized how I reacted. I started laughing and I left. I was like oh shit, I'm a dick. You know that dude's butthole tightened up so fast.

Ryan:

Yeah, you stopped him. I totally ruined the guy's flow.

Robb:

I ruined his flow and I felt bad, but it was funny. I was like that's such a TV moment.

Ryan:

That is a tv moment. So yeah, I felt bad. That's too funny, I thought that was funny.

Robb:

But I don't know, have you, have you ever ewed someone in the bathroom like like out loud, like?

Ryan:

oh no, no, I I have something that's a little bit um. I think I I could be the guy that was on the other end.

Robb:

On the receiving end.

Ryan:

Yes, because there was one time I was at the stall and you know, sometimes you let out a fart. You know, because you're relieving yourself. It's the proper room to do it.

Ryan:

You can't do it at your desk of course because you know etiquette or you know you don't want to be labeled as that person in the office. So I'm at the urinal and I let one rip, but it's one of those farts that is really long and it went on for a bit and there was a guy in the stall and he went whoa damn.

Ryan:

I couldn't help but laugh that guy was like respect, yeah, because it was good, like I would say 10 seconds, like that's a good long fart, jesus, and and I'm and I'm maybe exaggerating by one or two seconds, but still it was a long one and I must must have been holding it in that day for a while, well damn.

Robb:

I hear that, I hear it I hear you.

Ryan:

Oh man. So I hope, uh I hope our listeners had uh either a similar experience or fun fun experience of their own.

Robb:

They're now thoroughly discussed and or understand, so it's one of the yes, it's a yeah they uh it. Yeah, I'd say it was worth the risk.

Ryan:

They're a couple minutes into this episode and they're like I'm done, these guys, they're like okay, this is clearly the poop episode, Forget it.

Ryan:

No, but I mean, it's normal stuff that we all go through. This is not a millennial dad thing. This is not a millennial dad thing, but I feel like we as fathers probably have much, much more fun experience with this topic than our female counterparts, probably, whatever they have to do during the day to not like fart or or have those explosive moments until they get home in a more comfortable setting Cause, I don't blame them, I like my bidet, I love my bidet. That bidet is the best. I feel disgusted if I have to use the restroom at the office.

Ryan:

Yeah, no bidet, I'm kind of like oh Jesus, this is going to be a bad day with no bidet.

Robb:

Yeah, I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan.

Ryan:

I'm not a fan of the dry, of the dry no, it sucks it's unsanitary and disgusting it is, and they buy like I, no offense, but the worst toilet paper. It's like the thinnest single ply ever.

Robb:

So you have to use like 12. Yes, you have to use like the whole roll. Make sure you got it all.

Ryan:

And then it's like razor blades.

Robb:

Yeah, exactly, you rubbed yourself wrong.

Ryan:

Yeah, you're done. I'm sure some of our listeners have experienced this. I one of you has, but anyway, I'm gonna shift gears a little bit, since we had a proper ice breaker for the first couple minutes. Uh, I did want to talk about, um. By the time this episode comes out, uh, summer is practically over and we are full swing into the fall here in the united states, where kids are back in school. Uh, I haven't had a moment to breathe this entire summer with all the sports. My son has been playing and I'm sure you're feeling, um, you're feeling the same way with your daughter playing sports and it sucks because I haven't seen you this entire summer I know, yeah, it was a very wild summer.

Robb:

It was, it was, it was um uncharacteristically busy. But I think more than anything, at least on my side, is that the youngest is now old enough to start doing her own stuff too yeah. I got two of them doing things at the same time.

Ryan:

Yeah, oh man.

Robb:

And then because of their age difference, I mean, you're going to feel it soon enough. When your youngest kind of hits that pocket, You're going to be like oh crap. Not to mention it also doesn't help if their interests are different, Because then you're running around two different times, two different schedules, two different locations, Like it becomes a whole day. So yeah, it was. So. This was my first summer kind of going through that. Granted, while one was doing softball, one was doing T-ball.

Robb:

The days were different, so it was kind of like oh we were on the field like three, four days in a row sometimes and it was just like, oh geez man, like it just doesn't stop. So not to mention, my wife was the coach for the T-ball.

Ryan:

Oh, she was, yeah, so there's the added layer, you know, to that because yeah, mom's a coach.

Robb:

And we've spoke about this in previous episodes. I'm not looking there to be anybody's friend.

Ryan:

I'm not looking to make more friends. We know this. I'm so happy you went this way Like we're cool.

Robb:

I'll be cool with you, I'll be cordial, but once the season's over, you can fuck right on up. I don't know who you are, I don't know you. You don't know me, don't hon. That chapter's closed. Yeah, so like. But I had to, you know, kind of help carry the stuff, kind of help get the girls kind of in batting line and stuff like that. Thankfully there was a couple of other like.

Robb:

There was like one grandfather who was very involved and I was like oh, thank God, yes, you do the pitching, you do this stuff.

Ryan:

Oh, they didn't do pitching machines for T-ball, no, they had the your oldest daughter.

Robb:

Well, they had the T and if the kids were comfortable they would pitch. The coaches would pitch, okay. So they kind of did that kind of interchangeably For my old well, not my oldest, but the eight-year-old.

Ryan:

Yeah, yeah.

Robb:

For her. The girls were pitching, so at this age they were already pitching to each other nice yeah, which which was interesting. That was, that was interesting because they're you see them kind of getting some pitches and then other pitches. They're just like they're just kind of flinging the ball like god knows where.

Ryan:

You're like oh she lost that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Robb:

Lost the grip on that one. So that was interesting. So that's kind of where she's at. But yeah, it was just. Yeah, there was a lot. There was a lot going on, man.

Ryan:

Yeah.

Robb:

And then they also had like their own kind of summer camp thing that they did, like, you know, on Saturdays. Yeah, they had like it's like a day camp thing where they they only go on saturdays but they they do like two like two different subjects or something like that. They do it for like an hour a piece, um, and that was actually pretty cool. Um, you know, the little issue was doing like a chef's thing and that's cool uh and dance, and then the eight-year-old she was doing, was it guitar or piano?

Robb:

It was some interesting.

Ryan:

At least I forget which one. I think it was the piano Okay.

Robb:

And something. And was it tennis? No, volleyball. That's what it was volleyball.

Ryan:

Nice.

Robb:

So yeah, so they did that Then on Saturday, so like the Saturdays were packed.

Ryan:

The whole day.

Robb:

The weekdays were packed with well, just the morning, okay, and then at night it was like you know, you know our wives.

Ryan:

They don't let weekends fucking pass without something happening in the summer.

Robb:

Yeah, so it's you know can I remember what it was? No, but there's a damn well guarantee that every fucking weekend was packed, um, but yeah, yeah it was. It was wild, man. It was wild. It was kind of like like there was like two weeks where, like I didn't even go visit my mom because we're just like, because my mom, you know, she works yeah, so like for her her weekends are open and then on the weekends I'm just like we can't. We got fucking all these games and this other shit going on.

Ryan:

Yeah, it was nuts. No, it's rough man it was pretty wild.

Robb:

It was pretty wild, yeah, and so, hey, you know I get it, I get it. You know we got to keep these kids busy and shit, but I was kind of like fuck at the same time. Not, I don't think we should do it to the expense where we're kind of wearing ourselves out either, like it shouldn't be that crazy no you know, we're still functional human beings too, right, you know we we need to kind of enjoy the summer also yeah and I kind of.

Robb:

I kind of I kind of felt like I was. I was a little burnt out, I feel like in terms of like what, what I did last year. Like I did like a quarter of that, um, because usually I'll go into my shed and like do like a full cleanup, and like I didn't even look at my shed this year. I was kind of like I'm just zonked, man, I don't have the time, yeah yeah, I was.

Ryan:

It's funny you bring that up because I was thinking in comparison to. I feel like when we were kids, I do not remember. I knew I did a lot of sports growing up, but I don't think to the capacity now no, but that's the thing.

Robb:

I never did anything organized like this uh, like I wasn't in leagues. I was just like no, I just happened to know like 10 people who wanted to do shit and we just figured it out. We went to a park and we just did it.

Ryan:

Yes.

Robb:

You know, there wasn't like 50 parents gathering everybody together, giving snacks, taking us to a field, setting up schedules. No, it was just kind of like you guys want to play tomorrow? Yeah, all right, I guess we're playing tomorrow and that's what we did. And that was that you know like we did shit ourselves. Crazy my mom didn't take me anywhere, she was working. She was working all the damn time.

Ryan:

Yeah, I didn't go anywhere. I remember doing definitely part of leagues like soccer and stuff. I remember baseball, but I don't, like I do not recall at all the amount of what I did versus what my son is doing or has done this summer in comparison it also feels different. Yes, it's also very expensive.

Robb:

Because you're going to go do something exciting. For the parents it's like oh, I got to schlep this little shit around to this freaking thing. They better freaking like it, because I'm wasting two hours for them to enjoy this crap.

Ryan:

Yes, that's how I want to feel.

Robb:

It's a very different feeling.

Ryan:

That's how I want to feel when I am transporting the children around everywhere doing this stuff. But then you're watching them actually play and you're like you get so involved and then so emotional at the same time. You get so involved and then so emotional at the same time, and every miss that they make you feel that it's a stab on you, but then the kids don't give a shit, they're just happy they're in the game.

Robb:

Depends, depends.

Ryan:

Because my eight-year-old.

Robb:

She messes something up. She is extremely disappointed.

Ryan:

Wow, see, that's the opposite with my kid she takes it really hard.

Robb:

Wow See, that's the opposite with my kid she takes it really hard Wow Okay. She knows when she's not having a great game.

Ryan:

I see.

Robb:

And she takes that home and then I'm kind of like, listen, you had a bad day, it is what it is. That happens sometimes. Yeah, she's like I know but and I'm like you're being a little hard on yourself, don't get too hard, remember, you're still like very much in the learning phase. She's like I know, it's just you know, I just wish this and I wait and I'm kind of like I know it's sometimes hard to shake off yeah, I'm like I get it, I get it, I get it.

Robb:

I'm like you don't, don't, don't, don't go too crazy about it yeah but but yeah. So, like you know she, she enjoys the game and she enjoys it when she's having a good time and she's like doing well, but you know, one error on the field and she's like, ah crap, this is gonna ruin the whole game yeah, yeah, it's all my fault yeah, she lets it like tank her whole performance oh man, meanwhile, my son is like dad, did you see me be catcher this inning?

Ryan:

I'm gonna be catcher again next inning. That's wonderful, but you struck out twice already, let's get some hits in. He's like yeah, I will, I'm going to hit a bomber, just like Juan Soto and whoever doesn't know that that is a New York Yankee. But yeah, that's funny. I mean my, my son does beat himself up.

Robb:

Um and he does. I think they all kind of have their moment yeah.

Ryan:

And then, like I gotta, I gotta reiterate to him too, like like you've done for your daughter, just you know, shake it off, man. Do you keep your head up high?

Robb:

try again you're, you're going to get another opportunity. Yeah, I mean there's nothing you can do about it now. It's like you just do the best you can at the moment, just don't let it tank the rest of your performance. But again, if you had a bad outing everybody has a bad outing it happens, it happens. It's just you got to walk away, learning from it what did I do wrong and how can I do it better, and remembering that so that you don't do it next time.

Ryan:

That goes with life too, man. I but then Like. So the summer flew, and now the kids are back in school and September's almost over.

Ryan:

It's almost over and and Now we're juggling all the sports and school, because the sports didn't stop at the summer. I mean, at least for my son. He's still on a travel baseball team and they have winter I'm sorry, fall clinic, and then they're going to do winter workouts. Just sign them up for winter workouts. And the son of a bitch is doing hockey. Holy mackerel, I like. I mean I'm happy he's not bored. Um, that's good, but my wallet is kind of yelling at me at this point because, I got no funds, funds for me.

Ryan:

I got nothing it's all going to the children and feeding them and making sure the roof still is above us.

Robb:

There you go. Welcome to being a dad.

Ryan:

Yeah Well yeah. You know what I was going to say. It's not great, but you know what? I fucking love this job, even though it's frustrating.

Robb:

Nobody forced us into it.

Ryan:

No, no one did.

Robb:

Our arms were not twisted, nope, not twisted Nope, nope, I wanted this and yeah, we wanted this, we asked for it, we did there you go.

Ryan:

Oh man, I just. It kills me when I hear single people complaining about their life and then they tell me to fuck off about my decisions because I made another human being.

Robb:

But I'm like you know. I mean I think that's very short sighted of the single people to have that kind of opinion. For me. I'm just kind of like listen, everybody has their own issues. You know what I'm saying, just because you're in one situation or another doesn't mean you're better off or worse, Right, Anybody else you know. Your situation is your situation. It's really just kind of how you deal with it.

Ryan:

Yes.

Robb:

You know what I'm saying. Everybody is good. Anybody can find an issue with their current situation. Correct, yeah, anybody can do that, but that doesn't necessarily make it better and or worse than however somebody else has it.

Ryan:

So it's like yeah, it's just how you deal with it.

Robb:

You know what I'm saying. If you make the most of it, if you're happy, if the people are involved, they're happy, then it's worth it.

Ryan:

Agreed. Just a little leeway for us fathers, please. We're the ones that are just getting our children from A to B, don't really know what the schedule is for the following week.

Robb:

We're just being told what to do, and uh well yeah, well, I mean, I tell people all the time I'm like listen, like whatever. I was like there's only one. I only have two non-negotiables in terms of my schedule that I don't break for anyone and that's work, because my work can fluctuate in terms of times and going to the gym. I have to go to the gym at least six days a week. I have to. Those are my non-negotiables, Non-negotiables. You know what I'm saying, and it's just two things. You know what I'm saying. And one of them is absolutely dependent on everyone's living in the house.

Robb:

So sorry can't argue that. And then in the and then the other one. It's kind of like, truth be told, it's anywhere between an hour to two hours in a day. Other than that you have everything else. You know what I'm saying. So it's like I keep myself as flexible as possible, but but you have to keep non-negotiables in your schedule just for you to be a normal functioning person.

Ryan:

I just want to throw in, because I feel like there is one non-negotiable that you do have. Shout out to a previous episode that we've recorded together. That's baking.

Robb:

Fuck baking. Me not baking is definitely a non-negotiable.

Ryan:

I will never bake.

Robb:

That's different, that's a band.

Ryan:

That's a band event. It seems like a non-negotiable.

Robb:

I don't do that one. There's plenty of people that could bake in this house.

Ryan:

So you got three.

Robb:

Nobody needs me, nobody needs me to do it.

Ryan:

Oh God, I'm still infatuated about the whole line with baking.

Robb:

Won't do it. Won't do it, it's so funny.

Ryan:

I do everything else. I have to have my one thing.

Robb:

That's my one thing.

Ryan:

Not happening. Funny. I do everything else. I have to have my one thing. That's my one thing. You won't make me do it. Oh god, man, that's so goddamn funny. The one thing, uh, I could, I won't do it. You almost brought me to tears again. It was so funny on that day, it's still funny now.

Robb:

And bacon, and bacon. I'm not even looking at the stove. Yeah, I'm like screw you stove.

Ryan:

And I just want to.

Robb:

I barely bake anything savory.

Ryan:

I was going to say I mean, you're the chef of the house.

Robb:

I baked a chicken once and I was kind of like, all right, got it out of my system, I'm good, I got it out of my system, I'm good, I got it out, I'm good. So you don't know, there's there's just something about putting my food in a box and then waiting and then hopefully it comes out like well but like, what about?

Ryan:

you don't have cast iron in your house, you don't do the whole cast iron bit. Put it like a uh sugar, what would say? I'm not the chef of this house, so I would have to lean on my wife on what the hell you would put in a cast iron.

Ryan:

What I mean typically, I mean typically me personally of what I would cook like a shoulder or something I don't even, I don't even do anything like that extreme say, and it's painfully obvious to our audience that I I do not cook at all, barely barely boil water I got my, I got my skillet out in the back and I got my flat top okay and you know, and then I got my stove top yeah beyond that, I don't really need anything else.

Robb:

I do need to get a new grill, um, but I want to. I want to move back to charcoal, you know, get that classic.

Ryan:

Really.

Robb:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to go back to?

Ryan:

Isn't that grill new?

Robb:

Proper grilling. I mean, yeah, it was almost two years now.

Ryan:

Two years. Oh, I didn't realize.

Robb:

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I want to go back to like you don't get me wrong I, I appreciate the convenience of propane, that's what I use in my flat top, but, uh, I think, I think I need the um, I miss the for a problem, but you know, being argentinian for those that don't know I'm half argentinian. So, like I, I I respect a good and for a good asado you got to use charcoal. Okay, it's just the flavor. It's the flavor. It's different. It's different. You know it's different.

Ryan:

Of course I know it's different. You know it's different, yeah.

Robb:

Yeah, it's a totally different taste. I miss that. I miss that fire.

Ryan:

Just take over, take over. Yeah, that's one thing I did not do over the summer is um a proper like going to the park and having a self-standing barbecue with charcoal in there and grilling some burgers and bugs. I want to be able to do that at home yeah, those are the days, man, just go to the park and kick the soccer ball around for yeah, exactly you know, or to throw the football around um whichever definitely oh god, now I've been too fucking busy jumping from one fucking baseball game to another one exactly trying to freaking.

Robb:

Trying to freaking plan something around. Everything else that happens there in the summer makes it near impossible it damn near impossible.

Ryan:

Yeah, so many people are like hey, come over, we got a barbecue going on.

Robb:

No, I got baseball tomorrow at 8 am things that you know people don't consider, especially like at our age with kids, with kids our age is kind of like you know what you have a pool of, but seeing that pool of friends is very difficult because you know and granted, I'm the one with probably the oldest kids.

Ryan:

Yes.

Robb:

Um, but so you know, everybody else's has has little youngins and you can't always take them everywhere. Or you know there's there's events or birthday parties with their little friends and you know, everybody's kind of running around so it's kind of like you know that's just the reality of the time.

Ryan:

Yeah, you know?

Robb:

Yeah, it's just that's. That's where they're at.

Ryan:

What a shame.

Robb:

Yeah.

Ryan:

I mean, it's not.

Robb:

I mean I mean, I mean we, you and I at least try to make some, you know, a bit of an effort.

Ryan:

Yes.

Robb:

To try and break the monotony at least a little bit. So I mean you know, it's just you gotta, you gotta remember to make that time. You know it has it that that time has to be made.

Ryan:

No, because you do need to be an adult.

Robb:

Yeah, you know it can't just be all kid shit Cause then you lose yourself. Yeah, Like.

Ryan:

Eminem and that song. Sorry, not not that reference.

Robb:

Okay no, not mom spaghetti knees weak I'm sweaty, no need for the sweaty palms you know what?

Ryan:

I made that joke to someone and they did not get the reference and I was like you're not millennial yeah, I was gonna say, you aged yourself on that I did? I don't know well, because I think I was talking to someone who shit.

Robb:

Now I forgot they were probably gen z and they were like I don't know what you're talking about that movie is 22 years 22 years ago that movie can vote and drink legally what, what no, in case you wanted to age yourself a little bit, oh my god my case you wanted to feel a little old.

Ryan:

Yeah, you know, you know that meme with uh uh from save it private ryan, the uh, the, the war hero, I guess. Um, who's the character? Uh, or the uh the actor? Um, matt damon, yes, there's a meme of him like looking over a gravestone and he's younger and he transitioned to being an old man or or an old veteran. That's how I feel right now. I just just turned into a grandpa with you saying it was 22 years ago 22 years that's crazy when eight mile came out fuck

Ryan:

yeah I remember having the whole track but unfortunately I gave my computer aids because I use limewire to download everything and uh. But I had the whole uh track on a on a cd that I burned and listened to that on the subway going to school dude.

Robb:

I remember when lincoln park's hybrid theory came holy shit, so hype. When that came out I was like yo, this is so hard. I remember being in high school, my disc man disc man, walk man disc, my little book of discs. You know that I carried with me you know, because I need to be able to switch through albums. That album's 24. Fuck me, wow.

Robb:

That album is 24 jesus old, which, when we were in high school and we were going like man led zeppelin is old rock yeah this is the same amount of time no way really dude, zeppelin was big like in the 70s bro yeah, I know that was only 20 years prior. Oh, so is lincoln park. Wow, jesus, yeah, we are in that bracket. Oh no, our music is classic.

Ryan:

No, come on, it has to be. At least there has to be a proper like age space, like at least 40 years, come on dude, it's 24 years me, because classic rock was already classic in the 90s.

Robb:

There was an entire station dedicated to it, 104.3 existed in that time.

Ryan:

Yeah, you're right.

Robb:

You know, they had a classic rock and then they had K-Rock, k-rock.

Ryan:

Which is all?

Robb:

the modern stuff you know listening to, like Alice in Chains. Yeah, you know the shit that was popping at the time.

Ryan:

The time Back in the day.

Robb:

But Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. Yeah, you know they're probably still doing their shit now, but they old. They're about 30-ish years old at this point, if not older God damn.

Ryan:

Yeah, bro, yeah, whatever happened to Hanson, remember them. Hanson, yeah, yeah, damn yeah bro.

Robb:

Yeah, whatever happened to hansen remember them hansen, yeah no I mean, I don't know if they're still around they're probably not. It's got back together to do like random yeah people still love their stuff, I'm sure I'm sure they got a following.

Ryan:

You know hang out at a mall every once in a while and perform there.

Robb:

I'm sure. I'm sure they're still collecting money as as catchy as they were.

Ryan:

I mean, yeah, they must still have I if I still remember them. Somebody else remembers them.

Robb:

Yeah, They've got to. They've got to. I mean, they got half a million people on Instagram, yeah.

Ryan:

Yeah, they're still doing shit yeah they're still selling.

Robb:

Yeah, they're still on tour. What? No way they got a tour right now in October and November.

Ryan:

You just looked this up and look at these guys, they're like old, they're freaking our age.

Robb:

They're not kids anymore, they're like our age, touring and singing umpah.

Ryan:

That's amazing.

Robb:

Holy crap. Yeah, they're doing their thing.

Ryan:

Yeah, but I wonder if they'll hit this.

Robb:

Actually they're in New York October 16th and 17th. That's great, oh my God. And there's a night one after party with DJ Taylor Hanson.

Ryan:

Oh man Sign me up.

Robb:

Wow, so they are still raking in a Hanson cash.

Ryan:

Good for them. I don't hate the player, no, I don't. That shit was catchy. The only thing I have to ask, though.

Robb:

Good for them.

Ryan:

What is it? The middle brother who was the vocalist? Is he still hitting those high notes?

Robb:

The cutesy girly looking man. Yes, yes, yeah, you got to look at him. He looks mad rugged now. Yes, yeah, you got to look at him.

Ryan:

He looks mad rugged. Now I got to look.

Robb:

He's like a rugged looking dude. Now I'm like look at him looking like a man. He looks like a man.

Ryan:

Wow, look at that Adam's apple dropped and everything.

Robb:

Yeah, and then there's the one brother that looked like he just never changed, he just got older.

Ryan:

I guess that's the older brother. Was that the oldest one?

Robb:

Yeah, the oldest one. Yeah, he towered over them. His face never changed, it's just his hair got shorter.

Ryan:

But his face never changed. I'm looking, he didn't age. I'm looking at him right now. The other brothers did, but he didn't.

Robb:

He just grew a soul patch and then that was it. That's fucking awesome. That guy didn't age. That's amazing.

Ryan:

He got like three were able to distinguish between the brothers because of height. Now you can't anymore.

Robb:

No, you can't. They're all the same size. Yeah, there's no older or younger brothers, there's just brothers. Yeah, exactly, age irrelevant.

Ryan:

They've hit the age where age is irrelevant. A soul patch. I'm looking at the picture right now.

Robb:

Yeah, where age is irrelevant a soul patch. I'm looking at the picture right now yeah, you see it right. Say, look, I'm older, now I'm older, I have a soul patch. Okay, I guess that's it. That's all it takes fuck me. That's amazing look at that being adult oh man, I can't believe I.

Ryan:

We probably just aged some of our audience a little bit too I mean we say we're millennials we did, we did, we started off. This is a millennial dad podcast.

Robb:

Yeah, that's the point of the podcast they know how old we are they know we're at least between.

Ryan:

You know 30s, 40, you know early 40s, yeah, I think I, I think I wrote the age down or the years um, yeah, yeah, uh 1981 to 90, uh 96, so ages 26 to 41, something like that.

Robb:

Yeah, that's amazing yeah, right in the millennial pocket. Remember when people hated us because we're millennials they still do they still use that right. They're kind of like oh, they still hate us you know, millennials are adults and go to gen z right like Z right, we do the exact. It's like we aged out of the ugh phase. The ugh phase is Gen Z right now.

Ryan:

Yes.

Robb:

And Gen Alpha is too busy going like skibbity whatever.

Ryan:

Oh my god, we talked about that before. What the sigma? That's what my son told me recently. That's weird and I'm like stop it. I don't know what you just said to me, but stop it, we're using english.

Robb:

I constantly tell my 18 year old like because she likes to use slang and they're gonna be wrong like I.

Robb:

I appreciate it because it keeps me up on slang, just in case of course, of course it's good to just to stay, you know, in the know of the trend, but every now and again I she'll say something random. There's one that people say a lot like oh, you ate that, I ate that, and I'm like I ate. What are you talking about? She was like oh no, no, like you ate that. And I was like no, I heard what you said. You're not explaining yourself. Stop using your gang language on me. Gang language, gang language. Don't use your gang language on me. I don't know what you're saying. Saying I ate that.

Ryan:

I don't know what that means, what the sandwich I had? Yes, I did eat this, I know yeah, ate.

Robb:

That apparently means that you said something like or like you did something like really well, or some shit like that. It's a very I don't my thing is kind of like okay, like fine, okay. That's what it means. Where the hell did it come from?

Ryan:

I'm really on the etymology of slang yes, where did it actually genesis of this?

Robb:

exactly you know what I'm saying. So like yeah, literally ate something means has done a great job at something okay, so like showing admiration or praise for someone who has done a great job at something and I'm like but why does that mean that? Like, where the hell did that come from? So yeah, I still haven't figured that out.

Ryan:

Okay, we're probably not gonna. Maybe I don't know.

Robb:

Yeah.

Ryan:

Well, my son has replaced the word ass with gat, because that's a thing Gat's like a gun.

Robb:

No, no, no, because that's what gat used to be back in my day. Well in our day. Back in my day, a gat was something illegal.

Ryan:

No, maybe I said it wrong, giat, I know there's a Y in there. It's G-Y-a-t-t. I'm pretty sure it's how it's spelled. Uh, yet, yeah, because you know these youngins, I don't even know why my son's talking about asses, oh, but I guess we're at that age where we know the words. I'm probably to blame because of the fact that I curse like a sailor, but I do watch myself, um, but I, I'm probably to to blame there. I did catch my son go ah shit, once in a while when he's not winning at a game I think a lot of slang, though nowadays is just erupting faster from from tiktok than anything else.

Robb:

I mean it's, it's really social media social media things yeah, yeah. And the thing is like you don't need to be on it to hear it, because there's going to be a kid that is on it, and then they will repeat it, and then their friends will be like, oh, what's that?

Robb:

and then boom yeah the, the, the, the spread continues. You know I'm saying so like, like you know, my, my eight-year-old. She was kind of of like what's Prime? And I was just like a shitty electrolyte drink why? And she was like no, because all the boys like in school like they're always drinking Prime, and I was like we got Prime boys. Okay Well. I was like okay well is, if you're not talking about the energy drink, is gatorade essentially essentially the problem is is that gatorade actually has sodium, while prime just has a shitload of potassium.

Robb:

So if you're losing said sodium while you sweat, if you drink prime, you're actually not getting any of that back, so it's actually not rehydrating anything correct so yeah, so it's not good.

Robb:

So scientifically it's pretty shit. Um, so I'm like listen, if you want to drink a gatorade, you could drink a gatorade. Um, unless you're doing some kind of hard athletic work, you're a child, you don't need it, just drink some water. You're at an age where it really doesn't matter. You don't need electrolytes at this age. They're drinking it because a YouTuber told them it's really just companies that create stuff and then the YouTuber slaps their name on. It is what's happening nowadays. Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Ryan:

Well, I'll keep my eye out for that and make sure I don't buy it.

Robb:

But again, they cater to children. They don't know any better. So I don't, I don't, I don't blame his fans.

Ryan:

Do they?

Robb:

They do, they do, they do. They specifically target children to sell this stuff.

Ryan:

Yeah, I know that. I know the. Yeah, I'm trying very hard to not mention any names only because I feel like not that they're going to be listening to this podcast, because they're gen z-ers probably we're, we're nobody, we are nobody.

Robb:

They're never gonna come after us. They have much, much bigger fish to fry I'm sure they do, and way bigger problems to deal with. Yeah, all right, cool. Yeah, mr beast is dealing with his own like monster issues with his behind the scenes stuff.

Ryan:

It's, it's pretty all I, so I really don't give a flying fuck about it, but it reaches my ears and only because not years maybe uh, my eyes, because I look at reddit. I'm a huge fan of reddit, I've mentioned it so many times on the show, but every now and then there's a post that comes up about him and whatever shit that's going on with him, and I I really, really don't, like I said, don't give a flying fuck about it, but it's. I can't turn away. It's like a train wreck. You have to watch it.

Robb:

It's hard because they're very much large staples in the current culture. They're hard to ignore.

Ryan:

And I'm trying not to be a number that is added to those who are viewing this stuff, but I guess, it's human nature interested just to see what it's about.

Robb:

Yeah, it's curiosity, but I do it because they target kids. I like to know why. Right In the event of you know what I'm saying.

Ryan:

Correct.

Robb:

I at least want to know from an actual, knowledgeable perspective, why not to let my kids watch? You know, watch or consume whatever.

Robb:

Yeah, you know what I'm saying, as opposed to just ignoring it and being like don't listen to it Cause I said so. I know it's bad. I don't really know why. You know what I mean. I like to be like. I know exactly why. Um, this is not for you. I know what they're doing, but these videos are so good. I know it's on purpose it, but these videos are so good. I know it's on purpose. It's on purpose. They want to siphon money out of me via you and that's not happening.

Ryan:

Correct.

Robb:

Yeah.

Ryan:

I think they have like multiple apps too.

Robb:

That um they have a lot of stuff multiple channels, multiple things, I mean don't get me wrong in terms of moneymaking. They're very, their their teams are very smart, so they've done a very good job. Multiple languages at that, because they get their stuff translated, so they're very smart in that regard. So hey, again, don't hate the player, but no but I will. You're not sucking my kid down, your fucking psychotic rabbit hole.

Ryan:

Yeah, we got baseball to play. Yeah, we got too much shit going on.

Robb:

They got real shit to do, not just watch you.

Ryan:

Yeah.

Robb:

And melt brain cells. Let your brain rot.

Ryan:

Brain rot, yeah, but you know what, come to think of it, it's probably the same shit our parents were saying when we were watching Cartoon Network.

Robb:

Oh yeah, I mean. Well, I was going to say, yeah, my mom didn't care what I did. Truth be told, she had no idea what I was doing. I was playing Resident Evil 2 at a very young age.

Ryan:

Amazing.

Robb:

Yeah, she was like whatever. She was like what are those moans coming out of your room? Zombies?

Ryan:

Okay.

Robb:

Why do I hear gunshots? I'm killing zombies. They're trying to attack my team and I need to get out of this mansion. What, I wonder what? What do you want me to do? Let them eat me, mom?

Ryan:

well, I mean, I guess not exactly I swear, exactly, I thought your mother I thought your mother would blame your brother for it oh yeah, no, like you know, like you know, let him play the video game.

Robb:

She was whatever Cause again, because my brother was so much older, she was like he's going to get the shit and the little one is in there Like I.

Ryan:

it'd be stupid for me to be like it's okay If he plays it.

Robb:

you can't.

Ryan:

So she was just.

Robb:

I was like I'm not, I just like gaming.

Ryan:

Yeah, it's just fun mom.

Robb:

Yeah, it's just fun, it's just passing the time. What do you want me to do? Be outside, deal drugs. At least you know where I am.

Ryan:

Oh, that's amazing.

Robb:

You know that's amazing. At least you know I'm here. Yeah, outside that is the alternative. I will go sell black tar heroin. Don't make me do it. I know a guy, I know a guy and I have a. I know a guy, I'll get three keys of pure, pure columbian coke right now.

Ryan:

Don't, don't tempt me woman so let me play my video game, don't?

Robb:

take my games. I swear to christ I will become Scarface so fast. Oh my God, it's like I don't know what happened. I took away his PS2, and then all of a sudden, he had a flight the next day to Bolivia. I don't know what happened. It's like what.

Ryan:

I don't know. He's a kingpin in Miami.

Robb:

I see these really nice suits. They said to trust them. I don't know what happened.

Ryan:

Anyway, we're moving to miami. I don't know why, but he said it's important, it's important.

Robb:

So you know, I just gotta follow my son's dreams he has a yacht, I can't say no, he's clearly doing something right, he's doing really well he's doing really good for himself, doing what you know. I don't know, but he keeps talking about keys. I think he's like, I think he's a locksmith or something.

Ryan:

It's got to be, it's got to be, it's got to be. It's got to be and I noticed that there's this van that keeps being parked outside of his house.

Robb:

I don't think I've seen him sleep in like two months. He's always really wired, wow. But maybe he's just excited for the new possibilities.

Ryan:

New possibilities.

Robb:

He has new opportunities in the world, so maybe he's just excited.

Ryan:

He also has this friend named Molly. Not sure what that's about. I don't like her.

Robb:

There's a lot of Ziploc bags in the house recently.

Ryan:

Weirdly stamped pills, a lot of saran wrap.

Robb:

I don't know what he's wrapping, but he sends a lot of packages, him and UPS are tight.

Ryan:

Not sure what's going on with all this baby oil and shit and all this lube.

Robb:

He has a PO box. I mean, I don't know what kind of stuff.

Ryan:

What is going on at his house? Not sure.

Robb:

I just know he's running a really great business. Very his house not sure, but I just know he's running a really great business, so very great business so you know, it's good for him.

Ryan:

Good for him, oh my god.

Robb:

Thanks, mom, thanks, oh my god taking away my ps2 turned me into a multi-billion dollar drug lord.

Ryan:

If like damn that escalated quickly sheesh, who'd have thunk?

Robb:

yeah, well, too bad, my mom left me with my xbox I know, but no, let me play my games yeah, she did, caring as she was and still is my own life and the lives of lord knows how many millions.

Ryan:

Oh, but I, oh well, but I saved the galaxy from the covenant by playing Halo, all right.

Robb:

There you go. See, you made a difference. You made a real difference.

Ryan:

I did. I am Master Chief. Good for you.

Robb:

You are, mr Chief. I'm going to call you Ryan.

Ryan:

I can see it right now.

Robb:

Mm-hmm.

Ryan:

Mm-hmm, you mind telling me what you're doing on that ship, finishing this fight.

Robb:

I'm going to start calling you Ryan117.

Ryan:

Stop, I'm going to blush. My cheeks are already rosy reds. Talking to you on this podcast, ryan117. Stop.

Robb:

Damn it. Just call me Cortana baby.

Ryan:

I will never want to separate from you. Oh boy, oh shit, We've come to that point in the pod.

Robb:

Indeed, that's how you know we're coming to the end. Yes, we're starting to lose it.

Ryan:

We are losing it. Oh shit, that's fine. We haven't lost it in a while. It's true Again. Another Eminem reference.

Robb:

Indeed.

Ryan:

Yes, I love it. I love it Speaking of coming to the end. You know what that means.

Robb:

Oh shit.

Ryan:

Yeah, it's been a while. All right, it's been a while.

Robb:

All right, dad joke time. Let's hear it, let's hear it. Better be a good one. I hope you saved a good one.

Ryan:

You know what I've been collecting them. There's a couple that I've because I have. I've been gifted a calendar at my desk at work.

Robb:

Oh man.

Ryan:

Yes, so every day I pull a sheet and it has the new dad joke of the day for me in weight, amazing. Yes, and one of them. I'm going to read one of them that I absolutely, absolutely treasured.

Robb:

All right, let's hear it.

Ryan:

So I just hope. I just hope I get this correctly, Cause of course I don't have the calendar in front of me, but every morning I actually wake up in the morning and tell my family that I'm going to go for a jog, but I never do it. It's technically the running joke.

Robb:

Oh God, oh boy. And for those that are wondering why I actually laughed, so my eight year old has become obsessed with asking my Alexa jokes, really, which my Alexa is just riddled with my Alexa jokes Really, which my Alexa is just riddled with these dad jokes. To the point that now I've kind of grown in appreciation of them A little bit. So yeah, she's kind of my disdain for them has waned because of her. So you're lucky, thank you. Now I now, now I can enjoy them perfect I can enjoy their stupidity.

Ryan:

You know what? Could I share one more with you? Because, just because you're you're, you're allowing this. There's. So another one from again my calendar that I remember and actually this one I shared with my coworker. There's a coworker that is a leader on a project that I talk to and every time I meet up with him he's like all right, give me the dad joke of the day, because we've built that relationship, because we've built that relationship. So I go over to him and said to him I recently hired this contractor and he was really good at his job and I had a list for him and I gave him the list and I'm like, hey, can you please complete everything I got? Unfortunately, I got too much shit going on. Please complete this list. So he's like, okay, I leave, I take care of stuff, I come back. I noticed when I looked at the list and see what he completed, he completed jobs one, three, five and seven I guess he was doing where this is going?

Ryan:

uh-huh, I guess he's only doing odd jobs odd jobs.

Robb:

I saw that one. I saw that one coming oh god not bad, not bad.

Ryan:

It was like it was a good one.

Robb:

I dig it, I dig it well, oh man, this was awesome.

Ryan:

I uh yo, we talked about so much shit. I love these episodes where we just go off on a tangent.

Robb:

Yeah, we just kind of go see where things take us. Yes, yeah, I like these kinds of episodes. Sometimes it's good to just shoot the shit, shoot the shit.

Ryan:

And speaking of shoot the shit, I know we have the ability to do fan mail with our listeners. Oh, I'm going to put a shout out on this episode. Oh, don't ask me how the hell to do it, but I know that you can text the pod directly from listening to us on wherever you listen to us, and but, yeah, if you ever have any fun questions or comments for anything, we do have fan mail. Uh, there is going to be a link in the in the bio, when you listen to the episode, so reach out if you want. Um, but I gotta say thank you for joining us and listening to us rant yet again about our millennial dad lives. I'm sure you can relate very much so, and we'll see you next time. Man, fucking love talking to you. I just want to say that, bye guys. I just want to say that Bye guys.

People on this episode

Contributor

Ryan McDonald

Host
Contributor

Robb Moreira

Co-host